Proofread my college essay?

I need more people to proofread my essay for college. I’m not gonna put the prompt- I just need grammar and word flow checked. Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!!

The sun was hot, but the asphalt on our bare feet was even hotter. We were glad to have the water splash us, along with the soap suds and dirt coming off of the cars. We were at a carwash- not as spectators but actually washing all the filthy vehicles. I was so proud of that day. Not only had all my friends agreed to help me fundraise for clean water in poverty-stricken nations, but so many people had showed up to support us, too. I believed that if someone cared enough about something, they could truly make a difference. A carwash is one of the many ways in which I like to make my surroundings and the whole world a better place.

I arrived at the idea of a car wash quite easily. One afternoon, I was bored with just sitting at home thinking about all the help I could provide in the future. I realized that I could help make people’s lives better at that very moment. I ransacked my brain for a worthy idea and came to the decision of a car wash for clean water and sanitation in underprivileged countries. After I had decided on a car wash, I called many friends and asked them to help me make this event possible. Most of them said that they’d be able to help and some also brought important supplies. My idea to help had now become reality.

Once all preparations had been made, the special day had come. My friends and I waited with sponges, hoses, and buckets, ready for customers. Then, the numerous customers showed up. We spent the whole scorching day washing car after car. The longer we scrubbed, the more accomplished we felt. We knew we were helping to improve someone’s life. In the middle of this commotion, a woman named Stephanie came to have her car washed. Stephanie said that the Rotary International could help me put all this fundraising to use. I accepted her proposal and donated the whole day’s income through the Rotary. Stephanie helped me decide to fund the construction of drinking and washing stations at three elementary schools in the Philippines. I sent all of the proceeds off for use and waited.

After a few months of waiting, I received something. This something wasn’t a package, but an email. The email contained the results I had hoped for the day I decided to have a car wash. I had been sent twelve pictures. These pictures were of children at the water stations I had funded. As I sat looking at the smiling children’s faces, I was so incredibly proud. I was proud of how all these people had come together to help children that none of us knew. I was proud of how many people believed in making a difference just like I do. Now, I know that I would like to bring this belief with me to Gainesville as a student at the University of Florida.

3 Answers


  1. If I were you, I wouldn’t post my college paper here for public viewing like Yahoo Answers. Why? There are times that a professor would look on the internet and check their students work. If your professor do it, then there is a hundred percent chance that he may see this post, and whether you admit it or not, he’ll say you plagiarised. The grounds? Either he gave you a fail mark for the essay, or automatic fail for the subject. If your school has the rule of expulsion, then probably you will be kicked out out of the university. I suggest you to proofread it with your friends only.

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  1. Hi,

    Here has some tips for you

    Chances are you used a word processor to compose your essay. Most word processing programs are equipped with a spellchecker. To begin editing your essay, use the spellchecker option to check for spelling errors. Correct problems as you go.

    Next, use the grammar checker on your word processing program (if it has one) to check for grammar errors. Most grammar checkers now look for comma usage, run-on sentences, passive sentences, tense problems, and more. Using your judgment and the grammar checker’s suggestions, edit your essay.

    Now it’s time to begin manually checking your essay. Print a copy. Errors will be easier to catch on paper than on a computer screen. Begin by reading the thesis statement of your essay. Is it clear and easy to understand? Does the content of the essay properly support the statement? If not, consider revising the statement to reflect the content.

    Make sure that your introduction is concise and adequately developed. It should be more than a statement of your intentions and opinion. The introduction should set the tone of your essay- a tone that continues throughout. The tone should be consistent with the subject matter and the audience that you want to reach.

    Check the paragraph structure of your essay. Each paragraph should contain pertinent information and be free of empty sentences. Get rid of any sentence that seems slightly irrelevant. Also, check your transition sentences. Your essay will appear choppy is there is not a clear transition from one idea into the next.

    The conclusion of your essay should reference your thesis statement. It should also be consistent with the structure and/or argument of your essay. Take extra time to polish your conclusion. It will be the last thing the reader sees and the first thing that they remember.

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  1. ehhh. it’s kind of cliche. don’t write about things like volunteering… colleges see that all the time. make your essay more about yourself and less about your accomplishment.

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