Most people take their families for granted. During the holidays, SOME people dread seeing their relatives and embracing their culture [YOU ONLY EMBRACE SOMETHING YOU LOVE. THESE PEOPLE DO NOT LOVE THEIR CULTURE]. To me, family is very important. I love my big Persian family and am proud to say I am from Iran. My parents’ families are both [DELETE BOTH] very similar, they both come from similar backgrounds and traditions. In the future, I hope to continue [DELETE CONTINUE] to teach my kids the same traditions that I have been taught [DELETE THAT I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT].

My mom and dad are both Persian, which means, [NO COMMA] they share the same culture and traditions. My dad came to America to attend college when he was nineteen. My mom came to the U.S. at the age of twenty because she was engaged to my dad. After my mom left Iran, most of her family members followed her to America. Almost all of my mom’s family lives in the U.S., but none of my dad’s family lives here. My mom’s family understands English and Farsi, so I can speak English with them, but my dad’s side does not understand English, which sometimes can get difficult [FOR WHO? REWRITE THIS].

Another similarity between my parents’ families is to have large families. [DELETE OR REWRITE THIS LINE]

Persians are known for their big families. Both of [DELETE OF]my parents come from big families, but I myself [DELETE MYSELF] am an only child. This trend has definitely changed through generation NO. TRY: OVER THE GENERATIONS OR FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION. My grandparents were both FROM a family of six; to go from six siblings to an only child is a big change REWRITE THIS. My family speaks Farsi. MY FAMILY’S FIRST LANGUAGE IS FARSI. When I was younger, I only knew how to speak Farsi, but now, my English is much stronger than my Farsi. The usage of my native language has declined in my family. Today, most of my cousins barely know Farsi.

I have been brought up to appreciate my culture and my traditions. I am also very family-orientated and I hope my kids will also DELETE ALSO be the same. I believe that as long as I put effort into making sure DELETE PUT EFFORT IN TO MAKING SURE. USE ENSURE. that my children remain familiar with their culture, then they will be fine. My worst fear is for NOT FOR, THAT my children to NOT TO, WILL become whitewashed [WHITEWASHED NEEDS QUOTES] and ashamed of their heritage.

One of the biggest traditions in my family is to marry Persians. My family would prefer for me to marry a Persian man due to our parallel cultures. Therefore, my children are going to look Persian because I will probably have a Persian husband.

A person’s family is their backbone; no one should ever take their family for granted. No two families are identical; each family has its own traditions and cultures AND CHERISHED MEMORIES. DELETE FOLLOWING SENTENCE. Each family cherishes their own memories and has their good and bad days. But all families have one thing in common, and that is the love they have for one another. My family has similarities and differences, they both have their own traditions REWRITE PREVIOUS OR DELETE IT, and I hope [ I ] will be able to pass on all the love to my children that have HAS been passed on to me.

Not proofread, my friend, copyedit

(So that you know there is a difference!)

You have written several sentences that are not congruous. In other words you have bunched together sentences that express different thoughts. I edited some for clarity and separated those sentences that do not appear to correlate to any others. The ones that stand alone are subjects that ought to be expanded– written upon further to make new paragraphs.

My family is very important.

Most people take their families for granted.

I love my big Persian family and I am proud to say that I am from Iran. My mom and dad are both Persian which means they share the same culture and traditions.

During the holidays, people dread seeing their relatives embracing their culture.

My parents’ families are very similar, being traditional. I hope to continue to teach my children those same traditions.

My dad came to America to attend college when he was nineteen.

My mom came to the U.S. at the age of twenty because she was engaged to my dad. After my mom left Iran, most of her family followed her to America. Almost all of my mom’s family lives in the U.S., but none of my dad’s family lives here.

My mom’s family understands English and Farsi, so I can speak English with them, but my dad’s side does not understand English, which sometimes can get difficult [for me].

Ask your teacher for further help!

I think you did a great job, but if you wanted to make some changes, here are some that I have come up with:

(My mom arrived in the U.S. at the age of twenty)

(My grandparents are both from a family of six)

(Nevertheless all families have one thing in common)

You’re content is good, and spelling and sentence structure okay. But you are repeating information and jumping around. I mean that you start talking about culture then switch to language and then back to culture. Put your topics together. write about them and then tell about a new topic. maybe make a time line of your parents lives and tell about them in chronological sequence.

Where you say >>> In the future…. I hope to continue.

would be better at the end of the essay because it deals with the future. Past, Present, Future is a good format to use.

Would be happy to assist you to do it.